Lyin’ Around Louise

I got me a pad
A closed of plaids I keep on the floor
I’m known for these rags
A real gone barn
A plate of chicken con carne I left on the stoop
Ants think its a farm

The crowning touch to it all
Is Lyin’ Around Louise
We may get a little fat but we do as we please
Well the crowd can’t touch her at all
‘Cause she’s Lyin’ Around Louise
We may get a little horny we do as we please

With black lava lights
Quadrophonic hi-fi the dinosaur flies
In spite of its size
A closet of plants
Well I’m sucking up amps when I turn on my grow lamps
Please don’t tell my parents

The crowning touch to it all
Is Lyin’ Around Louise
Well we may get a little plump but we do as we please
The crowd can’t touch her at all
‘Cause she’s Lyin’ Around Louise
You look great without your clothes on you do as you please

River Rats

We hung our clothes on the hickory limb
Our bodies froze in the river
She’s so fine, mine, all mine, my
River rats we love the water

Barren were the boughs of the hickory limb
Some mad joke I ‘spose of my sisters’
We’ll sneak back to town after sundown
River rats, we’re caught in hot water

She’s so fine, mine, all mine
We’re river rats, we love the water
She’s so fine, mine all mine
We’re river rats, we love the water

On out tippy-toes we ran through the orchards
But Ida Redd’s big nose from her porch on her rocking chair
“Hey, you kids! Oh, I see where you hid.”
River rats we love the water
“Didn’t mean no hastles, well I swear we weren’t pluckin’ your apples”
River rats we love the water
River rats we love the water
Yeah, river rats we love the water

Christine

She’s ripped on flipsies lives in the sixties
Her hair is tumble-dry
Her eyes are white with lye
Her mind beyond repair
But I know it’s out there somewhere

Take me down tonight Christine
Lord you are my sweetest dream
Pick me up in your limousine dear
Lay me on your evergreens

She loves to tease and men upon their knees
She gets what she please
Her heart’s for rent or lease
Her mind is so corrupt
But all the boys lick it up

Chorus

I’m standing in the mirror sniffing out the atmosphere
I turn and she’s in bed
With visions of gingermen cooking bread
Watch out girl your oven’s red
Knead that dough till it’s bled

Chorus

Take me down tonight
Lord I’m feeling all right
Pick me up, pick me up, pick me up
Ball me on your golfing green

Blues For Two Big Ears

Blues for two big ears
Ears big as bells
Poor ol’ Theodore
Pity Little Ted

The kids would hide
Sneak up behind him with rulers
(Ted you better watch your ass)
‘Cause you’ll run home with your ears split like cauliflower

Chorus

Well he asked hi ma,
“Please Ma, can I grow my hair long?”
(Ted you better turn and run)
‘Cause she comes back with a razor, a bowl, and a scowl

Then Ted met Michelle
She said, “With flaps like that you ought to be a jazz cat.”
(The better to hear your sharps and flats)
Now when Ted blows the ladies circle more like crows
When he sings gossamers all take wings
When he plays the chicks are fighting like blue jays

Chorus..Well blow my, my man Ted

Raincan 9
Instrumental

Raincan

I wander up a hill
To see the city by the bay it fills with bildge
And all the sewage of one day
I’m blown away

So I bought myself a raincan
I prayed for water

I ride my bike through town
For years I never feared until they knocked me down
They stole my shit and kicked my face
I am amazed

So I bought myself a raincan
I prayed for water
My raincan caught a cup
Of bildge and water

A car pulls up the curb
The window rolls as a pistol is exposed
He says, “No whities on my turf”
His pistol squirts

refrain

A friend pulls me aside
He said stop singing about the issues of our day
Everything you’ve said is just so base
You’re just a pretty face

refrain

Slow Burn

Give me a slow burn
I’ll sing a torching tune
Give me a slow burn
I’ll sock it to you good
Not too hard or too soft
Just as steady ahead as she goes
Give me a slow burn
And don’t turn up your nose

Give me a dew drop
I’ll suck it off your ear
Give me a wet spot
I’ll gladly slap your rear
Not too much just enough
Just a pull and a pinch in repose
Give me a slow burn
And don’t turn up your nose

Give me a rug burn
You’re so hard on the knees
Let’s move to the sofa
I’ll be much more eager to please
Not too far or too near
Just as long as our lips can compose
Give me a slow burn
And don’t turn up your nose…

Turn up your nose
Rip off your clothes
Leave on your clothes